Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Jean Marie Macaluso
February 21, 2009
Your Rock Album
This one is really fun I don't know if I did it right. Thanks Michelle. I LOVED this one it was so fun!!
I don't know who has photoshop, etc., so I'm not sure who to send it to...Your Rock Album Share 1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album. 3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together. 5 - Post it to FB with this text in the "caption" or "comment" and TAG the friends you want to join in.<Photo 1>Your Rock Album Share 1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of yourband. 2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last 
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April 8, 2009
Critics Choice
I am the stranger, the perennial outsider, viewed with bemusement even by my own family; the black sheep, the ‘other” daughter.
I have lived a life full of trials and adventures. And as I take pause to gaze back upon my journey, I realize it is time to speak up for myself and for others like me.
Form breaks up in the Bacchanal dance of life.
When I ceased to know right from wrong
I ceased to worry.
Then people worried on my behalf, thinking I was mad.
But I rejoiced.
Drunk as a sailor on life’s liquor, what did it matter?
I lived.
And the blaming eyes that followed me, embarrassed on my behalf,
Were not mine.
They mourned for me while I rejoiced for myself.
Now tell me, which of us was smartest?
My journey has demanded that I play many roles; daughter, sister, wife, mother, virgin, whore. I have toiled in fields and factories, lived in the woods and in cities and homeless shelters. I’ve been a nurse’s aide, teacher’s aide, gravedigger, file clerk, and barista.
The story I have to tell encompasses heavens and hells, within and without, squalor and splendor. I have lived my life surfing the thin line between madness and inspiration, shooting the curls with trepidation and panache.
Included in my story are musings and ramblings about religion, sex, politics, agriculture, social practice. There are poems and pictures , real life experience and imaginative exercises. The totality is chaotic, yet coherent, giving an outline of one woman’s reality.
Perhaps this humble story will be of interest to souls puzzled and curious about this mad mystery we call life.

Nude modeling used to be my main income source. I like doing it. It's easy, contemplative and I get to be naked at work.
I like to pretend I am a tree or a rock and see how my imagining affects the resultant pictures. It often does, believe it or not.
Anyway I got a gig at the University of California at Stanislaus. I was staying with my oldest son while he was in school there.
There was a Monday-Wednesday-Friday class and a Tuesday-Thursday class.
The m/w/f class comprised non-traditional students; older people, immigrants, handicapped people. The instructor was a charming Italian gentleman.
The T/T class, on the other hand, were all freshman, all thin, white and apparently middle class. The instructor there was a tight little Englishman with a stick up his butt.
On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I felt warm, relaxed, and beautiful. In the drawings and paintings of this class I was beautiful and you could see my tree-and rock thoughts come through. The instructor would point to a portion of my anatomy and say "Look at that beautiful curve", etc.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I was grotesque, pathetic and laughable. The students could scarcely look at me anf the instructor could barely bring himself to say the word "B- b-b-b-b-b-breast."
I am fat and old and battered. I veer between hideous and exquisite. I love being with people who are broken enough to see and appreciate that.
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January 27, 2011
Loving reminders
The loving acceptance you so deeply hunger for can never reach you until you've learned to give that gift to yourself.

You ARE entitled to love yourself just exactly as you are right now!

You are ALWAYS doing the best you can in this moment. If you could do better, you would do better!

Practice being as gentle with yourself as you would be with anyone else you truly cared about.

Speak kindly and lovingly to yourself as much of the time as possible.

Listen in to your body and your belly feelings. Practice making room and safe space to feel ALL of your feelings.

When you feel sad, depressed or in grief, take time and space to fold inward to be with the aching and the tears until they're done. (They WILL be done, sometime!)

Listen to your angry, nasty, mean-spirited feelings - they tell you when something "not good for you" is going on!

When you feel scared or anxious, move more slowly, ask the frightened part what it would need in order to feel safe.
Go only as fast as the slowest part feels safe to go.
Remember that growth is a process, not an achievement. When you feel discouraged, take time to lovingly acknowledge how far you've already come...there is ALWAYS further yet to go!

Remember, too, that all life moves in cycles.. what has been must often come apart before what is to be can come together.

When you're tired, rest! ESPECIALLY when there's "no time to rest."

Remember that rest is a sacred act - as significant, meaningful, productive and honorable as any other purposeful act!

When it gets hard, remind yourself that it's okay to be different!

Applaud all the baby steps along the way of your journey. Acknowledge the wonder of your persistence in the difficult times. Marvel at the miracle of your courage and your trust-in-the-process. DELIGHT IN YOURSELF AT EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY: YOU ARE A MAGNIFICENT WORK-IN-PROGRESS!

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Dreaming Peace

Greetings, friends. It has been a while since I saw any of you , but my good wishes go out to you.
At this time in my life my energy is intensely inward and involved in the beauty and perfection of my inner world. On that level I feel engaged with the energies of others who also feel the pull of the Golden Land. By disengaging in the illusion of fear, competition and violence, we remove energy from these patterns. We concentrate our energies in holding the perfect dream of peace.
This morning I found a website, surrealist.org, that says it all very well.
To quote another Dreamer, "I hope someday you'll join us and the world can live as one."
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Friday, June 3, 2016

Quest for Clarity: Self-love.

Quest for Clarity: Self-love.
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Thursday, June 2, 2016

I MIGHT AS WELL WRITE AS I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I am using this blog to vent since no one ever reads it anyway. It is like screaming into the Void. This way, no one will be disturbed by it.
I feel like I am waking up from a very long coma. I have managed to stay away from the real world for at least 10 years. I am not even sure why I have withdrawn. I opted to enter and remain in my own world which is interesting and for the most part, very pleasant.
OK, since I can't get going on this I will do a reading with the "Zap" Oracle.

1. Where you are at now with whether/how to rejoin the world.

Interdimensional Traveler
The Babylon Matrix suppresses your empowered awakening by convincing you that you are nothing but a particular identity, at a particular age, with such and such amount in your checking account, and the laundry list of worries and so forth. Actually, your real identity is that you are an interdimensional traveler who has arrived from some other dimension at birth and who departs almost every day to another dimension called the dreamtime, a traveler who has a guaranteed portal out of this matrix, the portal called death, and a traveler who interpenetrates with the varied dimensions generated by other human psyches. The life that weighs so heavily on your mind is merely one of myriad timelines. As the boy Jake says in the Dark Tower books, "Go then, there are other worlds than these."

2. Force from the past most affecting whether/how to rejoin the world.

Rethinking the Pirate Stance
Cooperation and interdependence are emphasized here. American culture tends to emphasize rugged individualism in a way that is often absurd. For example, the "Army of One" ad campaign for the U.S. Army or the Marlboro man riding alone through the prairie with only his horse and his trusty cigarettes for companionship. But we are social mammals born into a world of interdependence. If you are able to read this card then someone took care of you when you were a dependent infant. Every breath we take depends on plants converting the carbon dioxide we and other animals exhale and which they convert to freed oxygen. Fritjof Capra, in his book, The Web of Life, developed a systems view of life in which he recognized two polarized yin-and-yang-like tendencies in living systems — the "integrative" and the "self-assertive." This card emphasizes the integrative, and challenges you to see how certain self-assertive tendencies may undermine efficiency and the greater good.

This is a time to emphasize cooperating with others, working in ways that are beneficial to all concerned. Cooperative interdependence is not merely with other people, but also with the organic matrix and with the Tao, the unfolding of events. Cooperate with what the moment presents.

Cultural forces and innate egoistic tendencies have caused many to adopt a pirate's stance toward the world. This can be true of people of any age and gender, but males and the young have a particular tendency in this direction. A young man told me a few years ago: "I just want to take a big bite out of life." I pointed out to him that the state of the world was largely the result of guys who were more interested in taking big bites out of life rather than giving something back to life. The looking-out-for-number-one pirate stance keeps a person in a state of infantile egocentrism and damages the world around him.

Instead of viewing yourself as a pirate, go-it-alone cowboy, or army of one, recognize yourself as a cooperation of the oneness. Your body is an intricate cooperative ecology of a fifty trillion cells. Your cooperation with outer elements is interdependent on the inner cooperation of your body and your psyche. To have integrity you need the cooperation of the many subpersonalities and other aspects of your psyche. You are a cooperative nexus in a vast web of life.
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Start me up, I never stop, never stop, never, never stop!

Thanks for the YT comments Jean.
John • May 18, 3:30 AM
You are quite welcome. I am giddy with the thought of people coming together to discuss ideas that I have spent my whole life trying to talk to people about, only to be met with blank stares. I am, thus, totally enamored of you. It is as if after many lonely years, finally encountering one of my own species. I am a tad obsessed. Please forgive me my over-enthusiasm, John! And thank YOU.
I opted to post without censor or censure. Just to let my thoughts run freely. YT seemed a satisfactory platform since it's somewhat secluded. I know you are touchy about free association. I'm sure you can delete whichever remarks you find offensive, Feel free. 
Please don't be alarmed by this, although I am. It's disconcerting at best.
May 23, 9:36 AM
The greatest type of ruler is one of whose existence
the people are hardly aware.
Next best is a leader who is loved and praised.
Next comes the one who is feared.
The worst is the one who is despised.
When a leader doesn’t trust the people,
they will become untrustworthy.
The best leader speaks little.
He never speaks carelessly.
He works without self interest
and leaves no trace.
When the work is accomplished,
the people say: “Amazing:
we did it all by ourselves.”
Right now I am in the midst of listening to you and Mani onConversation Community: 21C Superheroes. The flood of associations is so intense I can scarcely keep my footing.
you and your associates  are the ultimate think tank. Do you have Stewart Brand as well? (pun intended)
I want to point out that for a considerable stretch of time the only person I would even consider fucking was Snowden. Just because he was the truth-teller. Which I find sexy! Intelligence, ethics, accountability...to me these are aphrodisiacs that affect not only my root chakra, but all of tem as well. In fact, the only access to my system is through my crown chakra, which you've achieved.
Achievement unlocked!
Now you have an all-access card, you can ama.
The only favor  would ask of you in return would be if I might refer my sons to you. They are in strong need of a good male role model, although I have done the best I could with them.  If you could possibly communicate with them, I would be most grateful. I have sent them links to your videos, so perhaps that would suffice? We will see.
May 23, 10:27 AM
Re: 21C Superheroes
1:14 Animals on Facebook!! I'm chortling because it is true!! There is a rough-and-tumble vitality to Facebook which I relish. I too am an animal, at base, after all.
Conan the Barbarian tells of the Hyperboreans and how, full of ennui at their perfect, eternal lives, certain ones among them would jump from their citadel to their deaths below. Conan, being a barbarian after all, had a limited perspective, was not aware that these were merely setting out in search of story material. Eternity is after all, a VERY long time!!
May 23, 11:21 AM
May 23, 12:13 PM
You were born of a wild wind
Here to tear all the burdens down
Start anew with your own hands
Build it up from the very ground
You were born with a strong will
Equally matched by a warm heart,
Creative vision and a clear sight
You knew your work
From the very start
Oh, You’re not crazy
You’re not crazy
You’re not crazy
You’re just mad
You’re not crazy
Oh, I understand
Hey, remember we knew
It was gonna be
Hey, remember we knew
It was gonna be this way
When we came
May 23, 4:27 PM
So we're okay
We're fine
Baby I'm here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that's true
Multiply life by the power of two
I'm sorry; I can't stop.
The only thing I've ever wanted in life was a best friend.
May 23, 6:08 PM
I have been  out back gardening with my youngest son, Charlie, who bought this house which was condemned and transformed it. There is a big yard and we are creating a lovely permaculture oasis in the midst of this midtown ghetto. He bought the house with no mortgage just on the basis of his trustworthiness and good character. He then bought the beautiful brick house next door which had been a crack-house for years, was condemned and was absolutely disgusting. It is now a beautiful dwelling for others He has retained the bottom floor and we are working on plans for a community center to gently bring a sense of how to live a good life to the people in this town. I don't know why I am spewing all this onto you but it feels like it's being pulled out of me, somehow.
May 23, 10:59 PM
"Artistic collaboration can run the gamut from a totally structured hierarchy, as for example a motion picture crew working from a script, to a leaderless group of performers improvising together, taking equal and shared responsibility for everything that happens." -Stephen Nachmanovich "Free Play: Improvisation in Life and Art."
May 24, 7:19 AM
“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” 
― Hayao Miyazaki
May 24, 8:15 AM
There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
You see how this struggle goes inside me?
May 24, 11:05 AM
If I were the One True Ring and you were the Evil Sauron, I would gather myself from the fiery depths of Mordor, find you and wrap myself around your finger
If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby?

He came at last to a mansion fine,
Down by the river Claydee
And there was music and there was wine,
For the gypsy and his lady.
"He is no gypsy, father dear"
"But lord of these lands all over,
And I shall stay 'til my dying day
With my whistling gypsy rover."


Read more: Clancy Brothers - Gypsy Rover Lyrics | MetroLyrics 
May 24, 12:24 PM
If you want me I'll be over here: Conversation Community: Patterns & Beauty
May 24, 2:59 PM
I am generally a music lover. Your words are as music to me.
May 25, 6:40 PM
It's a very ancient saying
But a true and honest thought
That if you become a teacher
By your pupils you'll be taught

As a teacher I've been learning
You'll forgive me if I boast
And I've now become an expert
On the subject I like most

Getting to know you

Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like you
Getting to hope you like me

Getting to know you
Putting it my way
But nicely
You are precisely
My cup of tea
May 25, 11:37 PM
You have to understand that I am rich in experience and abilities and equanimity, which makes me sought after. I for the most part, however, find *relationships*  disruptive. If you're not contributing to the pleasure of my quotidian life, if you are petulant and disruptive, I'll decline to participate. I was at the point where I am perfectly delighted and satisfied with my life and feel no need for a companion. I like people, of course but my superpower is indifference, (one of them!) so I'm easy come/easy go.

I don't know how you breached my shields, but here it is, now I have to deal with it. If you question my closest associates they will tell you that I have come to detest any association involving "romance" or "sexual attraction" due to, perhaps, the perception that I suck at it.
I am, after all, a "party of one" (ask anyone) So what the fuck is this all about, I am wondering?  
It's sketchy at best. I need more data.
May 25, 11:54 PM
I had become cynical, which I don't enjoy so I just let myself return to those activities I enjoyed before I got distracted by the world's demands. What I liked bach then was Art,.h 
May 26, 12:32 AM
Whew!! That boil has been lanced! I think in so many ways, having taken the Bodhisattve vow* I also chose to do good unto those who are "least" in the kingdom.
Then it becomes a question of "Who is the least?, who is the lowest?"
Having dwelt among the crack-heads and prostitutes and muslims, mexicans and gays, I knew they were certainly not the least. Who  then, are the least?
A line from a Curtis Mayfield song came to mind "There ain't no room
for the hopeless sinner
Who would hurt all mankind just
To save his own
Have pity on those
whose chances are thinner
Cause there's no hiding place
From the Kingdom's Throne."
AHA!!
The least among us are the oligarchs. They have NOT laid up their treasures in Heaven, but, rather, "where moth and. rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through nor steal:
May 26, 9:40 AM
Maybe, because you have some goodness in your heart, like a grain of mustard, (Dijon Poupon? Lol!) you are to serve as a bridge to these people who, from what I gather, are among your clients. It's a dirty job but your hands are alrady dirty, so, hey!  Good luck with that, buddy! I mean it!
May 26, 10:31 AM

They say that life is a two-way street
And you're not sure. You gotta trust your feet
To know the right way.
You can keep on movin with your head down
Or you can stop and take a look around.
And that's the choice I've made.
It's for that movie inside your head.
Making memories we can't forget.
And when you can't forget
You're gonna know in your soul
This is what we came here for
So live it loud
Here and now
This moment, it won't be ignored
So why not open up that door?
it's what we came here for.
For every song we let play outside
The melodies we get to write
Every time we sing
Friends we've made, fun we've had
Memories gonna make me laugh
It's a beautiful thing
So beautiful
I want to send it around the world (all around the world)
Cause everybody should feel this good.
Cause when you feel this good
You're gonna know in your soul
This is what we came here for
So live it loud
Here and now
This moment, it won't be ignored
So why not open up that door?
It's what we came here for
No
The fun's just getting started
Just celebrating where we are
And loving who we are
You're gonna know in your soul
This is what we came here for
So live it loud
Here and now
This moment, it won't be ignored
You're gonna know in your soul
This is what we came here for
So live it loud
Here and now
This moment it won't be ignored (it won't be ignored)
So why not open up that door
So come on open up that door
It's what we came here (oh yeah)
That's what we came here
Came here for
Every single thing in this life glows with you. You are akk meaning to life. 
May 26, 4:44 PM
I respect Bernie Sanders the most though. Plus I am NOT romantically inclined. I live voluntary Simplicity and I think romance is bullshit.
May 26, 6:11 PM
Am I lying to myself? My future is filled with you.
May 26, 6:29 PM
 Also, what is interesting is you are the same age as my younger brothers, who are twins.
May 26, 7:14 PM
That is my brother, Brian's wife, Sari Botton. Brian owns an Apple repair shop. Tech Smiths
I thought you might find that interesting since both your grandfather and father were smiths and you are a word smith.
May 26, 7:38 PM
Rock steady, baby!!
Don't worry I will never give up on you nor will I do anything else. This is officially the John Kellden Memorial Link dump. YYou and I are on the same wavelength and I have been down these dark roads I can truly say "I know the feel, bro!"
While  I was living in Halifax NS I became friends wit a very nice Muslim man in the neighborhoods. He told me I am officially a man by virtue of my boys, who are HUGE! My street cred is impeccable. Which means my Karma is powerful
A seer once told me that my Karmic Bank Account is HUGE!! I'm kind of like Harry Potter with his vast Gringotts account. The Inner Wealth, which I inherited from my parents, like a golden thread
I'm imagining these elaborate docu-dramas . I confess, I have met my match
time flows, Enacting time flows.
I am looking longingly at my pencils and crayons and collage items and then I realize that really, I am a social artist, and this is, after all, a social medium. And I am a Social Artist.Spiral spirallng into infinity he sees angels in the archtecture
Nobody can harm you. You are safe wit me. I am always here for you. We can't live without each other we are part of a big Ohana.
Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind.
I am the sort of being that loves forever. Once you are in my Ohana you are in. there is no where to run, no where to hide! 
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!
Even if you think you are dying, don't panic, just go with it. I have been going with Death for quite a long tome. He has become my best friend and when this ol' world starts getting me down, I head over to Mr. Death's for a nice cup of tea
So here we are again in the midst of great battle and while the battle outside is raging, I am composing myself and pondering the myriad ramificatons of tis story. The story of you and me is the great story. It is the great Torus . Tora taro rota ator. 
Sun, 6:54 AM
The longest running TV series in Galactic history? Conversations with John Kellden!
Just keep in mind that this is a romantic musical comedy, not a thriller (although it certainly is thrilling!)
Sun, 7:39 AM
“There is in certain living souls a quality of loneliness unspeakable, so great it must be shared as company is shared by lesser beings. Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this that in immensity there is one lonelier than you.” 
― Theodore Sturgeon, E Pluribus Unicorn
Everybody loves a lover! I'm a lover. Everybody loves me! Anyhow, that's how I feel. Wow!! I feel just like Pollyanna!! I should worry, not for nothing! Everybody loves me, yes they do!! And I love everybody since I fell in love with you!!
Mon, 6:39 PM

Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum was a strange dimension where everything became one and everything and one was right. Those who passed through it became Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulated, and had strange side-effects. They could see in all three normal dimensions, but also in time. They were able to see the past, present, and future all together. Those who were caught in it or "unstuck in time" would appear at different places for certain amounts of time. A prime example of a victim was Winston Niles Rumfoord, who would appear on Earth every 59 days for one hour. He also would appear on Mars, Mercury, Betelgeuse, and Titan. He was able to see what was happening in different places at all times, but was not able to know everything. The sensation has been described as "being everywhere at once"
??
Mon, 8:53 PM
John isn't on Hangouts right now. Your messages will be seen later
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